Travelling to Prague

I woke up the morning after Grace’s leaving party feeling pretty shit. Still, I knew that I only had half a day at work before heading off to Gatwick and then on to Prague. On reflection though, a late and boozy night out before going on a boozy holiday wasn’t the best move. Anyway, after a hazy first couple of hours and a McDonald’s breakfast, I was ready to head off. I like to be sat in departures a good couple of hours before a flight sets off as I cannot abide the idea of being late for/missing a flight. I got to the airport in good time and set up in the biggest drinking establishment in the terminal, a Weatherspoons called The Red Lion. It was absolutely jam packed full of cunts. Somehow, Weatherspoons in an airport had managed to attract the exact same clientele as Weatherpoons everywhere else in the country. Cunts.

Pint No. 129

What? – Truman’s Craft Lager

Where? – The Red Lion, Gatwick North Terminal

When? – Thursday 3rd May 2018

After battling by a man dressed like a newborn baby and 4 women named Sharon, I got to the bar and ordered a pint. One saving grace of Weatherspoons is that they serve a good range of pints at an affordable price. This was seemingly not the case here as the only pint I’d not had was Truman’s Craft Lager and it was £5.80. I went to find a seat and managed to squeeze in between 2 stag dos (also heading for Prague) and 2 women who seemed to have a personal problem with anyone who dared walk past their table. I guess their top-secret conversation about Emmerdale shouldn’t have been overheard.

Pint No. 130

What? – Rekorderlig Strawberry & Lime

Where? – easyJet Flight EZY8897

When? – Thursday 3rd May 2018

Onward then, to the flight itself which was deceptively short. I was still flagging a bit from the night before so Murray and I got a small bag of cans on board. The only thing resembling a pint that I’d not yet had was Rekorderlig Strawberry & Lime; naturally then this was my order. We did have quite a wait though as the cabin crew had to navigate the trolley through a stag do who obviously needed to whet their respective whistles. Rekorderlig is in the very loosest possible way a cider. It’s so sweet I’m convinced more than one would cause major pancreatic issues and fizzy as a can of Fanta. It’s essentially it’s a liquidised, marginally alcoholic, boiled sweet. Having spent this time slagging it off though, it does do a job when you’re hanging. There’s something about the soft-drink style boozy bev that can really sort you out and prepare you for another session.

Overall Score: 2.5/5. (CAVEAT ALERT – The flight + hangover combo raised this score)

When we landed, we had a bit of time to kill whilst we waited for our mates’ plane from Bristol to arrive. Fortunately, there was a bar in the airport offering up some unashamedly Czeck bevs.

Pint No. 131

What? – Pilsner Urquell

Where? – Prague Airport

When? – Thursday 3rd May 2018

The first thing I had was classic pint of Pilsner Urquell in the bar. The image above shows a couple of average looking blokes modelling the pints for me in a different bar. I sadly did not get an image of the pint itself. The heads on these beers are ridiculous. The glasses are made to show where the head should start and it’s basically half way down the glass. This beer was really easy to drink and although it’s probably quite basic, I really enjoyed it. Head and all.

Overall Score: 3.5/5.

 

The other boys landed so we drank up and got an Uber over to our AirBnB. That’s right, app-based-cab-co and app-based-accommodation-co! We’re such fucking millennial cunts. After a couple more Pilsner Urquell’s in the flat (and also a couple of stiff vodkas) we set out to show Prague who’s boss.

Pint No. 132

What? – Krusovice

Where? – Some bar in the square, Prague

When? – Thursday 3rd May 2018

A couple of the lads had been to Prague before so guided us to the square where we found some touristy bars. Ordering a stein each, we settled in to watch the nightlife. By nightlife, I mean watch lots of men with small satchels trying to sell tourists drugs and or strippers. The steins arrived and contained Krusovice, a fairly classic lager. Disappointingly, the steins were plastic which did remove from the experience a bit, however the beer was drinkable and the atmosphere was good so we got on with it.

Overall score: 2/5.

 

After the steins had been sank, we went for another wander, hoping to find a good bar to settle into. The walk was constantly halted by scores of men trying to cajole us into their titty-bars. Resisting, we marched onward.

Pint No. 133

What? – Budweiser, Budvar

Where? – James Dean’s, Prague

When? – Thursday 3rd May 2018

Said march resulted in us landing upon James Dean’s bar. A mid-20th century diner style upstairs gave way to a filthy underground, which maintained the 1950s theme on the walls with plenty of pictures of Jimmy Dean though the people were markedly more rowdy than upstairs. Descending upon the bar via the DF, we got a round of Budvar. Not exactly exotic and definitely the worst beer of the day.

Overall score: 1.5/5.

The rest, dear reader will remain a secret ’til my dying day when I spill the beans quicker than a police informant being threatened with a ten-stretch.

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